2 Weeks

2 weeks!!! 2 weeks from today we will be moving.  2 weeks from today we will be starting our new life.  2 weeks from today will get here before we know it.  In the meantime we are consumed by packing, saying goodbyes, purging old stuff that is no longer needed, and preparing ourselves for this new life.  This new life, I am not sure what that means, or what it will be like.

As we have been packing up our stuff, taking down decorations, it hit me hard.  The home we have been in for 5 years,  where we have brought 2 of our children to after they were born, the only home our oldest child really remembers and knows will no longer be ours.  Our loving church family we have been a part of for the better part of 3 years will no longer be a daily part of our lives.  The coworkers, whom I have known and worked with for nearly 10 years will no longer be a part of my work life.  This also hit me, I was in Wichita Falls to introduce that area office to my replacement.  As we were leaving I started saying my goodbyes to them.  It was harder than I thought.  Somehow I kept it together, but it was hard to do.

I know all of these people will be with me in prayer, and I will still be able to see them.  It is just a reminder that my life is going to change.  But it is a good change, a change where God is with me.  I am not hesitating, I am not wavering,

So as I approach the end of one chapter of my and my family's life, I remind myself that the next chapter is about to begin.  And like a great novel, I anxiously await the next chapter, because I know it is going to be exciting and fulfilling.

Back to packing and preparing for the end of my current career.

Would you like to support a seminarian?  you can make a tax deductible contribution to help fund my seminary education, and my journey to Ordination to:

Tara Elgin Holley
Vice President for Institutional Advancement
Seminary of the Southwest
501 East 32nd Street Austin, Texas 78705

be sure to include a note that the donation is to support Andrew Ellison. 

A new journey

Well it is official, I am a postulant.  I also have been accepted to the Seminary of the Southwest (SSW) in Austin TX, starting this fall.   A lot is going on spiritually, and emotionally.  To start I am feeling every emotion I can.  I am feeling intense excitement, excitement to start this next journey, which will last 3 years.  I am excited about being a part of such an awesome community at SSW.  I am excited to immerse myself in all of God, from classwork to daily worship.  I will spend significant amounts of time growing spiritually.  I am also excited about living in Austin, what a great place to raise a family.  My son will be enrolling in Kindergarten, his school is within walking distance from where we will be living.  In fact many seminarians walk their children to school together, more time to spend as a community.  Blake and I think it is pretty cool that we both will be going to school together.  But with that excitement comes anxiety.  Of course the move itself makes me a little anxious, who doesn't get anxious from moves?  But also the question of what lies ahead.  What will seminary life be like?  What will it do to my family?  What about their needs?  What about finances? Etc.  That is not the most difficult part though, as I know and have faith that God will provide for us, he will lead us through this time and in the future.  No, the most difficult part I think is leaving my church family.  The church family i have grown to love.  That is the part I am finding most difficult.  The good thing is we will not be going off too far, and hopefully, God willing, I can return to the Diocese of Fort Worth.

In the end, God is doing something special in our lives, and I am going to make more of an effort in keeping all my family and friends updated on what he is doing in our lives.  I am going to start getting more active with this blog, I will provide updates on what is going on at Seminary, what is happening with the children, I will even provide pictures.  Until the next post, hopefully which will be soon :), God bless.






Would you like to support a seminarian?  you can make a tax deductible contribution to help fund my seminary education, and my journey to Ordination to:

Tara Elgin Holley
Vice President for Institutional Advancement
Seminary of the Southwest
501 East 32nd Street Austin, Texas 78705

be sure to include a note that the donation is to support Andrew Ellison. 

Wow, it has been a while

Wow, it certainly has been a while since I have last updated this.  A lot has happened since my last post.  I have made it through the Parish Discernment group, in which it was recommended that I continue my discernment.  Our vestry gave their 100% approval.  I have met with Bishop Ohl, in which he also approved of my continuing discernment.  Now the fun part begins, I am meeting with a Psychologist, to see if I am mentally fit for a career in ministry.  As well as meeting with my Physician, to see if I am physically fit for a career in ministry.  After this, I will move on to meet with the Commission on Ministry.  I was a bit nervous about this, since these are people I do not go to church with, and they do not know me personally.  However, come to find out I do know a couple of people on the commission.  So there are some friendly faces.  But in the end, God will lead us and show us his desires.  I am hoping to be through the commission and move on to the next chapter of my discernment journey by November.  That next chapter, if approved by the commission and the Bishop, I will be named a Postulant for Holy Orders.  That means I would be approved for study at Seminary.  I will begin searching for Seminaries, which I have 4 main seminaries I am looking at.  I will also begin participating more in the service at church, like preaching, leading parts of the service that a Lay person can lead, taking a more active role at the alter during the Holy Eucharist, etc.  I will also be preparing myself and my family for a move to another city.  My journey so far has been fun, and a little stressful, but I have had tremendous support, from family, freinds, as well as my wonderful church family. But it is not even close to being over.  In fact, it will go on even after Ordination.  We all are discerning something, and we all must answer our own call from God in some way.  That call never stops, even if it is a small call to help feed the poor on a particular day, God always calls us to do his work.  We must listen to what God is calling us to do, and act on that call.  I will make an effort to update this more in the coming year, as this is where things really start moving.

God Bless

Holy Saturday

What a wonderful and spiritual Holy Week.  We went to the Maundy Thursday service, and both Blake and Landon helped wash the feet.  It was neat watching someone so young participate in that fulfilling tradition, as well as wonderful seeing those allow them to wash their feet.  Unfortunately we could not go to the Good Friday service, as the boys were a little worn out by the days activities, but that did not stop us from reading the scripture, as well as praying at home.  Saturday we went to the Easter Vigil, and both boys made it through most of the service, they both fell asleep at the end.  The Easter Vigil is truly one of my favorite services in the Church, it starts out dark and there is a sense of anticipation building, as we await our Lord to be risen.  I imagine that is what Mary Magdalene, and the disciples felt while they were waiting for Jesus to rise from the tomb in which he was resting.  After the Paschal Candle is lit, we read some scripture from the old testament as we await our Lord to rise.  Then at once we all shout Alleluia, the Lord is Risen.  The lights are turned on, and the sacraments return to the altar.  We even had a baptism during the service.  This is a perfect service for that as we are reminded of Christ's love for us as he suffers on the cross, dies, and then is risen so that we will no longer suffer in sin and death.  We are also reminded of our vows we took during our own baptism, we are reminded of the Baptism Covenant that we follow every day.  It is a time for celebration, a time to feel gladness in all our hearts. We followed that service up with the Easter Sunday service, and an Easter egg hunt with the other children in our church.

In the middle of the weekend right before the Easter Vigil on Saturday, we have another service.  A small service known as the Holy Saturday Service that is meant as a time to pause and reflect on what will happen.  It is a time to slow down and wait for our Lord to come again.  This also happened to be the first service I led, as well as gave a sermon.  I actually read a sermon that was already written, since I am unable to write my own, yet.  But it still felt really good giving the sermon, it felt right. As I was anxiously awaiting the start of this service and wondering what lies ahead, I found myself reflecting on how the Disciples felt.  They were also awaiting, uncertain of what lay ahead.  Now after that service, and after our Lord has arisen we must go out to do the work that the Lord has called us to do.  I may not know where the Lord is leading me, but I am comforted to know that he is with me, and I will follow him wherever he leads me.  I urge us all to do the same.

Parish Discernment Group

Well tomorrow is the first time I will sit down with my parish discernment group.  There are a lot of things going through my mind, from anxiety about sharing so much about my life with them, to excitement of seeing where God will take us.  Mostly I am appreciative to have a group dedicate not only the next 6 months to sit down with me and discern with me, but also give continuous prayers for me and my family.

This is going to be a neat process, but there is that very real thought in my mind about how I am going to share some personal information with this group.  But I keep thinking that Jesus is going to be with me, I picture him standing next to me with his hand on my shoulder as the group hears my story, and as they ask me questions.  Like I said in my first post, God has a plan for us, and he will show his plan for me to this group.

So begins my next step in this discernment process, and I could not be more thrilled to see where this step leads.

Lost and Found

Jesus often taught in parables, it was a great way for him to clarify his teachings.  One of my favorite parables is "The Parable of the Lost Sheep".  As read in Matthew 18: 10-14...

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones.  For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my father in heaven.  What do you think?  If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.  In the same way your father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."


Now lets think about this in today's terms, or personally.  Have any of you ever lost something?  What were your thoughts?  Did you say "oh well I did not need that item anyway"?  Or did you try to find it? And when you found it how glad were you that you located that item?  I know this has happened to me.  I have a small problem of not replacing DVDs or XBOX games back in the cases they go in, and once when I was younger I decided to play a game I had not played in a while.  I opened the box and the game was not there.  I looked everywhere for it, I easily could have played another game, one that was in it's box, but I wanted to find that one.  I searched and I searched until I finally found it in a DVD box of all places.  Now when I found that game I was excited and relieved.

This is similar to what Jesus was saying.  There are times when a lot of us feel "lost", feel that maybe God just does not care about us. Heck some of us may even question our faith all together.  When this happens God does not say, "oh well, tough luck, I have a lot of other people who believe in me, have fun on your own pal".  No he searches for us, he calls out to us, and shows us his true love.  He does not stop until we are "found".  This is the great thing about our God, he deeply cares about all of us.  So much so that if we "wander away", he will stop at nothing to bring us back, and when he does bring us back he is deeply happy, like I was when I found that game.  So if you feel lost remember, God is searching for you, listen, look, hear, and see.  God is trying to find you, and bring you back  We are not alone, God is always there with us.

God Bless,

Andrew

Resolution

Well it has been a while since I have last posted.  The Holidays have kept me a little busy, plus I am not meeting with my parish discernment group until later this month or next.  Then I thought wait, this is my blog, I can write about anything, not just my discernment process.  So I have decided to talk about some observations plus a New Years resolution I am going to commit to.  


There is a lot of stress around Christmas, we are always rushing, worrying about getting that particular gift that everyone "needs", wondering if you will travel or stay home, and what will you cook.  Stress does not seem to stop after the New Years; we worry about bills, family, and other daily life issues.  Some of you may not have noticed but I am a bit of a worrier, so I thought the best resolution would be to take those stresses and give those up to Christ.  This is my challenge to all of you as well.  If there is a stress, or you are burdened by worry, give that up to Christ.  Let Christ lead you through the stress and know that he will see you through.  


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11: 28-31)

Here is a good verse out of the Gospel that speaks to this. We need to remember that if we are worried or stressed Jesus will take over for us, as long as we seek him, and the Father in Heaven.  Whenever the burden of life stresses me this year I will read this passage and give up that stress to God.  I challenge you to do this as well.  Remember that God loves us and he will provide for us; all we need to do is go to him.  

So remember that when the burden of life challenges you, turn to God.  God loves us so much that he gave his only son Jesus Christ to die for our sins.  He will not leave us alone in our time of need.  

Have a blessed New Year,

Andrew